


DADA teachers save the day

by AarabdhT



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:30:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18364214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AarabdhT/pseuds/AarabdhT
Summary: When Harry gets trapped in the Graveyard, it's time to pull out the big guns. Or in this case, the big words.





	DADA teachers save the day

One-shot. Based on a Reddit prompt.

* * *

 

"I must say, Crouch did teach us quite well."

Voldemort stopped in his monologue to hastily assembled Death Eaters.

"What?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"You know... Barty Crouch Junior? The one impersonating Mad-Eye?"

"And you know about that how?"

"Never you mind that. What's important is that he gave me extensive training on how to survive many dark curses. Heck, he even made me immune to the _imperius_ curse."

Voldemort's wand lit with an unholy green light, and a Death Eater unfortunate enough to be standing close to him dropped. Looks like Draco would be getting his heritage early.

"And to think the Dark Lord himself would provide a better DADA teacher than Dumbledore... Well, people did say he was senile."

Harry noticed that his foe wasn't making any moves to kill him, so he continued. Maybe he would be able to distract him long enough for help to arrive.

"I haven't even started on that sorry excuse for a wizard, Lockhart. I think I forgot more than I learnt in his classes. The annoying and very punchable teeth... The less said about him the better.

"He did help us in destroying your Diary, so there's that. Okay so maybe he wasn't totally useless. Speaking of, what kind of Dark Lord are you, keeping diaries at this age?"

This time it was Snape who succumbed to the Dark Lord's Killing Curse. The Death Eaters started eyeing each other, mentally placing bets on who was going to go next.

"Lupin was a good person, but he could hardly teach that well. He stuck to the textbooks, and didn't give any real advice on how to actually deal with dark creatures. Oh, and also, why would we need to study about creatures? It's not as if the average wizard ever encounters one anyway."

"And what do you think of Quirrell?" Asked Voldemort, ever the curious one.

"You'd like to know that, wouldn't you?" When a dangerously purple coloured spell contacted the stone beside his dangling leg, he gulped and said, "Okay fine. Sheesh. It's as if you only know how to act like a 14 year old girl."

Macnair stood no chance to dodge the incoming spell.

"I would tell you about Quirrell, but he wasn't the most eloquent sort. Half the year I spent wondering what he was saying at all. His stuttering was so distracting, and it was painfully obvious to anyone that he couldn't face an ant in a one-on-one Duel. Honestly? I think you should've chosen a Muggle as the host instead of him, but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose."

The last thought Dolohov had was _Oh bugger._

"And do you have any more amusing commentary about your DADA teachers? Or are you done hiding behind your friends and family?"

"Oh but you forget, Voldemort, that the last letter of your name is silent."

The statement confused Voldemort long enough that he was unable to dodge a stunner from Dumbledore.

"That was excellent work, Harry, my boy. Your exaggerations were quite... fun to hear."

Harry undid the ropes holding him, seeing as a crowd of Aurors were apprehending the Death Eaters.

"Who told you anything I said was an exaggeration?" He asked Dumbledore.

* * *

Do review to let me know how was it.

 


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